Thinkin Things
2009
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Thinkin Things

Suddenly Confiding
It’s so perplexing to restrain your emotions when you know deep down inside you can barely conceal it for a long period of time. Instead of going amuck and do something really stupid I try to compose whatever I have in mind. This is just the best way and disciplined way since I’m not the vocally frank kind of person. I feel more of myself when I inscribe everything I have. But this doesn’t mean to say that I’m suppressing my ache, when am fed up and can no longer hold it back that’s the right time to let it out. I feel a humongous relief whenever I post something on my blogspots.
i just wanna let this thing out so i can breathe and live peacefully...
With family…
Everything is just falling apart. I just feel so devastated that our family is going hell. My sister just becoming the old me, I couldn’t blame her for being such a brat. But there are times when I’m really pissed I wanted to hit or beat her with a bat. But I hate my brother more. We have connivances going on the house. My brother’s so freakin’ annoying, he preach as If he’s not what he’s talking ‘bout. He’s getting into my nerves. I guess we’re just spoiled brats. There are always sibs rivalry, fights and ending feuds. Lots of stuff have been said and done that brought heartaches and tears. Screamin’ at each other. Flaws are divulged bluntly. Stabbing each others back like we’re not sibs. It’s just so hard to hold back our emotions when we’re really mad. It’s like we wanna throw stuff at each other. The 4 of us are so closely firm, we hang out and bond for quite some time but when we’re mad we’re on our own ways, it’s vendetta but it's not for long. We’re extremely varied from our point of view that’s why we clashes. I even wished that they are out of my life forever so I won’t be suffering but that’s not going to happen ‘coz I love and i live because of them.
With the world and people…
It’s quite arduous to live life. To cope with the worlds snags. To learn everything in a hard way. Striving really hard to fulfill your dreams. Dealing with people who are just so difficult and those who are really a drag! Wastin’ time to stuffs that does not enthralls me. People lyin’, cheatin’, actin’ and thinkin’ that they’re the best but aren’t. spendin’ time with people who only gives you boredom and gobbledygook chitchats. Not being able to let my emotions publicly. Suppressing angst ‘coz I know it’s for the best. But there’s always a limitation. I’ve got to draw the line. No one’s gonna violate my rights and manipulate me, ever. I hate it when everything’s settled and in the split of a second it all screws up. I loathe braggarts who talk and walk at hallways like shit! I don’t want to fall into commitments and responsibilities, being tied to something or to someone would just end your liberty to live life. I just wanna do my own thing and discover my own weaknesses and strengths without anyone nagging at me and spoiling the fun, deterring me from doin’ my own thing, go away! I’ve spent half of my life watchin’ foreign t.v. shows perhaps that’s where I got my spunk of sayin’ and talkin’ stuff in a gabby way. My ‘rents don’t get me I’ve been westernized! I’ll be like this for the rest of my life. I’m absolutely cognizant with my priorities in life. Hell no I won’t stray from my plans. I’m not comin’ clean. I do have a bad side as well but it is rarely exposed due to some values and self-restraining. But people ‘round me mistake me for who I am. I just have this really stupid idea that they maybe thinkin’ that I’m a renegade truth is, I just don’t wanna be left at. I don’t ditch people ‘coz they’re useless, primarily it’s because of my standards. I just don’t wanna be left alone so I leave before I’m left. I know this is one hypocrite point of view. But I can’t do anything I’m helpless. Nobody cares for me, nobody does. I just wanna do what I think is right. If that’s wrong I don’t know what to do anymore.
About the Author
Why do i blurt out things without thinkin first?
I will be hanging around people and all of a sudden i will say something mean, its like i get annoyed at the people or something and just blurt out whatever comes to my mind....Why is this...what can i do to stop it? Sometimes i don't even realize i am doing it and it is starting to affect my social life.
before you answer a question or enter a conversation pause and count to three(not too slow that people think somethings wrong with you) and play the conversation in your head before you say anything...possibly you my adapt to it...Good luck
Thinkin Things Collection 1: Fripple Shop


























































